Monday, January 16, 2012

HOW COMPLEX THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS


I've copied this amusing little rhyme from a 'Forward' I recently received from a friend. I don't know who compiled it, so I can't attribute credit.... You may already be acquainted with it, but for those who have not, here goes....



We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.



If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?




Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!



There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.


We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,

Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?



Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,

What do you call it?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?


We have noses that run and feet that smell.


We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?


We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?


You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

In which your house can burn up as it burns down,

In which you fill in a form by filling it out,

And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing..........


If GrandFather is Pop, how come GrandMother's not Mop.???


Have a good week everyone
Marion




6 comments:

Sara said...

That's very clever! I've seen something like it before and it is always humorous. Our English language is such a hodgepodge of other tongues...I feel sorry for those who must learn it as a second language!

And, I've always wondered, why to roosters crow, but crows do not; they caw instead.

Betty said...

Weird, the English language!!!!

I don't know why if grandfather is Pop, grandmother isn't Mop...I just know at our house she's MAM!

Love you Sista....Betty

Barbara said...

They say our language can be hard for foreign students and one can understand why. Have a similar thing on my computer at the moment but maybe too long to post. Will see.

I saw your sweet face on Sara's comments so thought I would come right over.

Wishing you a very happy and blessed 2012 Marion.

Betsy said...

Why isn't a mans wallet a pocket book? I hear often of women buying pocket books that look like handbags.
I enjoyed your post.
Betsy

Barbara said...

Thanks, Marion, for this indeed amusing rhyme about English language. I'll copy it and learn some new expressions :-) !! I'm curious to read the "similar thing" you still have on your computer ;-) !!
Barbara

Mountain Mama said...

Very clever!!! I have often wondered about our language. Thanks for posting it.